When I was interviewed about friendship for the CBS-TV News Sunday Morning Show for a series on friendship that they were producing, TV reporter and interviewer Russ Mitchell asked me what are reasonable expectations for a friend and friendship. I replied that it was an intriguing question since we do have very clear guidelines, even vows, that a husband and wife exchange when they marry, and there are clear expectations for a parent’s duties. I thought about it and decided that a Friendship Oath might be useful to consider and even to share with friends. Afterwards, I composed the following:

Friendship Oath

"By accepting the responsibility of being your friend, I promise to be honest and trustworthy. I will try to work out any differences or conflicts that we may have and will try to put the time and effort into our friendship that it requires. I know we both have work (or school), family, and personal obligations, and we will respect each other’s other relationships and commitments, but I will also be committed to this friendship. I will try to only give advice if it’s asked and I will also try to be your friend, unconditionally. I will keep your confidences. However, I will also share with you if it is my policy to never keep anything from my spouse or any other primary relationship, with whom I entrust all my secrets. I will try to remember your birthday and be there for you when times are tough and when times are grand. Making time to talk, communicate by mail or e-mail, or getting together is a priority. I will celebrate your achievements even though I know a tiny bit of envy or competitiveness is normal. I will bring fun and joy to your life as much as I am able to as I cherish our past, present, and future friendship."