The Friendship Page Advice Forum

[Brokenheart]

I'm a 21 year old guy, and there's a 17 year old girl who I've met through a common friend we have. Before I ever talked to her or showed any interest it was clear for me that I like her. She's cute and mysterious and a little bit shy, but the most important thing is that I really liked her. That's why I decided to take the chance and start talking to her. After I've started chatting with her we've become good friends. We talked a lot, mostly by chatting but also at college, and a few times I went to her home alone.

Now, from the moment I noticed her I knew that I like her, but for some reason this "feeling" of liking her disappeard as time went by, although I can still say that I like her. I can't say I'm in love or have a crush on her, but I certanly have romantic feelings for her. As we were watching a movie together on her bed we were really close, and I wanted to hug her, or kiss her or something, but I couldn't. I couldn't because I'm not sure what I feel towards her. l like her and have romantic feelings for her, but still I don't have this particular feeling that tells me that I want only her and would like to be her boyfriend.

I just don't know if I like her or not and don't know if I want to be her boyfriend or not. I know that she likes me very much and I'm afraid of hurting her feelings if I'd try to kiss or hug her and at the end not being sure of how much I really like her.

Shouldn't I just be able to say: I like her and want to be her boyfriend, or I don't like her and only want to be friends with her?? At the moment it's something in between and these mixed feelings are making me mad!!

Is this a common problem or am I just a psycho?

[Bedrock]

No, trust me, you are not psycho. This is pretty normal. This is why we go on dates. Sometimes we know right away how we feel about somebody, sometimes it takes a few dates. It's very good you don't want to rush into anything.

I remember when I was in high school, the moment I set eyes on a certain girl I was immediately in love. She was all I dreamed about and to me she looked like a famous movie star. We dated for a while and over time and getting to know her better, that feeling wore off pretty quickly. I noticed some things about her I didn't like, actually a lot of things. But it took a while for me to discover them.

So this is an easy thing for you. If you don't like her anymore, then stop calling her. "Just being friends" sounds easy, but it's difficult to maintain a "friendship" with somebody you were once dating. You are only doing this because you don't want to hurt her feelings, but I think you need to be honest with her. Don't give her false hopes. That's not nice.

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Look to the ant thou sluggard

[chrisjackson911]

Yeahi have to agree with Bedrock here.
Also i have a few reccommendations:

1) you have to relize that you arent the only one in the world that is feeling the way you do. Millions of people have felt or are feeling or will feel what you are feeling right now. You are not alone.

2) I think you need to discover your inner-spirt. Now it may sound weird but you need to find the right path.

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-Chris Jackson.

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't....